Geezeracity Manifestations
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made.
Very few people die past that age. - George Burns
Why is it our children are continually complaining that we are 'too old' to understand, then with the next breath telling us to grow up? More than likely, they are going through that phase where nothing we do is right! Of course, I never complained as a young adult (wink, wink, nod, nod), so it is difficult for me to understand where they are coming from. But for a moment, let's focus on people who are growing older, say past sixty at least. (Of course, this won't make much sense to a 15-year-old who thinks a 25-year-old is over-the-hill or a 25-year-old who thinks 35 is ancient!) What is it that gives folks like those in the video such a passion for life at age ninety, while we all know people who act like they may not make through tomorrow and are only fifty? Is it nature or nurture or some combination of the two? There are older folks I love to be around because of their positive outlook on life and the zeal they have for adventure. My wife belonged to a book club where she was the youngest member. The rest of the group was in their 70's and 80's. This group of women enjoyed every minute of every day, and when they got together, they knew how to party. After a book review, they loved to share a glass of wine or two or three and could quickly go through two cases of Chardonnay. They broke all the familiar stereotypes of old people.
Stereotype 1 - Old people smell bad.
Not that I have noticed. Rest Homes smell bad, basketball games smell bad, motorcyclists, babies, homeless people, congressmen, garbage dumps (P.C: Landfills), anyone in an occupation that requires strenuous outdoor physical activity, and young people that think it is healthy to bathe only once a month smell bad. To generalize that all old people smell bad is grossly inaccurate. O-o-o-o-oh, what is that smell? Do you have mothballs in your pocket?
Stereotype 2 - Old people drive slowly.
This is a generalization that has more evidential support. However, it does not approximate any truth. The ladies in my wife's book club (book club ladies) all felt like they were in training for NASCAR and that it was a sin to be the first in line at a stoplight. Young people should be aware that they must yield anytime they see someone with grey in their hair driving down the middle of the road at an excessive speed. On the other hand, the WOOFs (Well Off Old Farts) weaving down the road and being passed by snails should be reported immediately to the old people police. They are giving the rest of us a bad name.
Stereotype 3 - Old people are always complaining about their physical ailments.
True, some old people gritch (a hybrid of gripe and bitch) a lot. But what makes you think hypochondria and complaining are the domains of the elderly? You might even be thinking at this juncture that I am doing a little gritching of my own in this blog. My daughter has a friend that ALWAYS has the symptoms of whatever designer ailments happen to be in vogue at the time. Trust me on this one, gritching is not the sole province of old people. Still, I will concede that if you gritched a lot about your physical ailments (or anything else for that matter) when you were young, you would probably be gritching as you grow older. Truth is none of us want to hear it, but all of us want to let others know what is bothering us. The problem is some people make a religion out of it. Am I gritching too much here?
Stereotype 4 - Old people can't see, hear, or remember a damn thing.
Actually, this stereotype could have been combined with Stereotype 3 because there are old people who do complain about these things, only they just can't remember any of it. Sure, there is some eyeball distortion as you grow older. You may need reading glasses or surgery to correct visual problems (unless you are still driving). Yes, there is a definite loss of hearing for some folks and a highly developed sense of tuning out the noise that causes so much distortion in others' lives. My wife says I'm a tuner inner/outer, but it doesn't bother me all that much because one of my daughters is a fine tuner, also. A humorous aside here, why do young people think old people don't like loud music but then accuse us of being deaf? Truth is, the music played so loudly at every stoplight I come to just SUCKS! And Alzheimer's and senility are certainly not conditions that we would wish on anyone, no matter their ages. As a former high school teacher and coach, I can tell you it was very distressing for me to see so many young people with symptoms that could only be described as the early onset of Alzheimer's. But a friend of mine told me that there is a positive side of Alzheimer's, you get to sleep with a new woman every night!
Stereotype 5 - Old people are wise.
Some are, but most are just marking time until they die, and I wouldn't give you two cents for anything they might have to offer. When I was younger, there were old people that I knew that could bore the bark right off a Dogwood tree, and others that I could listen to for hours on end. The wise ones involved you in their tales and, remarkably, never repeated themselves. But the stories they told remain with you forever. Guess which one I chose to spend time with? … Spend time with?
The problem with stereotypes, or forming hardened views about old people, is that if you think old people behave a certain way, then the odds are that you will act that way when you are older. If you have a negative view of growing older, then you will have a negative experience as you age. However, suppose you have a favorable view of growing older. In that case, your personal experience should be much more positive as you age. The psychology of how we view the world has been exploited successfully by advertising for generations. Even today, I can't tell you how many of my friends think they have to take medication to stop going to the toilet so much! Flomax was developed initially to lower hypertension, NOT to reduce the number of times you have to go to the bathroom. Now they even have a Flomax for women! Hell, if enough people said they had a particular symptom, there would be a pharmaceutical company selling a quick over-the-counter fix for it within the week. I'm not saying 'having to go often' is not a problem for some people. I'm saying that it became a much larger problem when the drug companies started advertising that it was a problem! Same with stereotypes. As long as older people are portrayed as 'smelly,' forgetful, hard of hearing, nearly blind, idiots that repeat themselves and need drugs for erections and for peeing too much, what will the future be like for younger people who never see anything different? Where are the Golden Girls now that we need them?
Until Next Time,
I Remain,
Just another Old Zororastafarian cattle rustler looking for his glasses and his hearing aide so he can mount old whatshisname, and hunt down those young heathens playing their music so damn loud...
